Who Has The Last Word?

In a failed attempt to be the best friend I could be to a person who, by all means, does not deserve my best, I found myself pondering the way girls work. I'm using this blog from now on to write my thoughts on the situations life puts me through and possibly get some feedback. What better way to start my site than to say All Female Friends Suck!

Now, I know the females who stumble across this might think I'm being dramatic and possibly even stereotypical, but I do have my reasons for stating so. One of them happens to be this 'best friend' I went out on a limb for. Her name: Angela. I met her through work a couple of years back and I thought we had a good connection. Apparently that friendship was a one way street.

Throughout the years, Angela's head has been so far up her boyfriend, Keith's behind that I'm surprised she wasn't notified every time he used the bathroom. Relationships are all fine and dandy, believe me I love the fact that there are good guys out there who step out on a limb and commit to the girl they love. But, in all aspects of the relationship, there should be a mutual respect for the other person. Both Angela and Keith did not understand this, and many times I would find myself driving up to Angela's house with a kleenex box, putting my life on hold to pick up the pieces he left her in. Yet, every time the tears dried for more than an hour, she ran back to him.

Their 'love' story, which is more like 'sadistic-hate-love-I'm better than-you' story is one that I can say I'd made an example to never have for myself. But, moving along from that issue, I'll explain what happened the last time I dropped everything to pick up her pieces. Being a good friend I drove over to her house, which is by the way four towns away, and waited for her to get in the car. When she did, she had a box of all the things Keith had given her in the past. She asked me to drive over to his house and wait around so she could tell him it was over.

Not wanting to say no because I knew this should have been a big step, I agreed. As soon as my foot hit the gas pedal, Angela's water gates flew open. She began crying, and in an attempt to buy some time I began driving and listening to her rant. An hour and a half later without a cigarette, my jaw opened in an inexplicable manor. During her rant on how much she loved her boyfriend and how she couldn't be without him but she needed respect, she decided to feel sorry for herself (a usual for her). Her rant became an insult to me, one that I can not shake from my memory. In fact, I can still imagine her mouth moving to the words that stung so much: "This isn't right, you shouldn't be in a relationship, I should."

Now, reader, I would like to know your feedback. You see, I have just started a new relationship with a person that I believe I could be able to spend the rest of my life with. We do have our differences but we always try to work them out every time. And I'm more realistic than I should be for my age, and I'd be the first to tell you when a relationship wouldn't last, but I have this sure feeling that it will. We both realize that we have our issues, our scars, and our imperfections; but when all is said and done we love each other for those reasons, because we have both been hurt in the past, in many ways than one, and we want to make our futures better together.

However, this comment has been dwindling in my mind for the past week. Is it possible that Angela's thoughts are ones of jealousy? I happen to be a big activist for feminism, and I truly believe that she deserves so much better than a guy who calls her names that not even I would use yet I'm told I have the mouth of a trucker. I believe that in every relationship a woman should receive an equal amount of respect as the man. Yet she does not have this. Is it possible that she sees my happiness with my boyfriend Jake, and knows the amount of respect we have for each other, and happens to be completely envious of me.

Or, is her comment one of a judgmental person? Do I come off as such a bitch that I should not be in a relationship with another person? Is this her train of thought? This is the side of the thought that scares me the most. What if she is right and everything I ever wanted, everything that is now right in front of me, is not going to last because of who I am? Am I that unloveable?

As you can tell from this post, I am mostly not associating myself with Angela. I haven't spoken to her since she passed her comment, even though she has tried to contact me. I'm not sure what I should do in this situation. Should I keep my anger from her comment to myself, or should I tell her where she could stick her thoughts (FYI they would probably be close to where she has already stuck her head)? Or should I kill this failed attempt at a friendship through silence?

Feedback would be appreciated =)