Divine Secrets

My last post made me realize that I've made it easy for myself to bash relationships and friendships simply because they never worked out the way that I wanted them to, and that I should instead look to the friendships that touch my heart and keep me, for the most part, sane. So I'm going to dedicate this post to Gwen.

My favorite book happens to be Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Corny, I know. But the reason I love this book, aside from the mother-daughter-feud dynamic, is the fact that friendships can last throughout the years. Friends can stay friends, even if at some point or another they end up threatening each other's lives. It is possible to have a friend to go through life's stages with, and still be able to sit down one day when we're old and gray over a cup of tea (most likely laced with rum) and talk about how our years progressed and how we changed so much.

The person I see sitting across the table from me when I'm old and gray would be Gwen. Sure, there are other people I want sitting at that table with us, but for the most part Gwen is the clearest image I can see so far.

Gwen has seen me through my worst; death of a loved one, broken heart, betrayal, you name it, she's been there. She's been one of the most sincere friends. She can tell me when I'm absolutely right, or when I'm absolutely wrong. She knows my mannerisms, she knows my personality in and out, she knows who I am and she still choses to stick around. That in my book, is dedication.

On the flip side, I know Gwen. I know when she's being way too quiet (usually means something is up), or when she's trying to hide something. I know when she's about to cry, I know when her laugh is sincere. I understand the pain she goes through, in one way or another, because her pain is my pain. I find that I want the best for her, even if it means that some day she might not be as easily accessible as she is now.

I guess when it comes down to it, we both have a love and respect for each other. I cant wait to see the old us, sitting around in a kitchen filled with pictures of children and grandchildren, talking about how we were and how we are. I cant wait to know that every part of my life that I have been through, I have shared it with someone who understood me so completely without having to explain anything at all. I cant wait to be an old bum with my best friend Gwen.