Maybe it is true that perfection is just a social contract, an ideal that high society came up with. Today, in many ways, people have what I would think to call a "perfection complex"; a checklist of what their partner should or should not be. Take for instance the 'perfect' man, for girls at least. It is a notion that is constituted mainly by 'shoulds'. Should he be tall, dark and handsome? Should he have a good career? Should he be charming and endearing? Should he be a classic fairy tale Knight on a white horse that has come to take you away from the horrid castle?
All these 'shoulds' should not be the way people think of the opposite sex. These 'perfections' simply make an imperfect person think of all the things they are and are not, and therefore there more divorces, separations, single parents, and spinsters. Perfection only exists in the mind of someone who follows the 'norms' of society; the norms which state how a man and woman should act when placed together.
Inspired by the movie "The Ugly Truth", I feel that it is true that women have a checklist. They're always looking for a 'soulmate', yet they hardly ever find one. Maybe if women wake up and truly look at themselves, they would realize that imperfection is in fact beauty. Who wants a brooding man who is afraid to say anything contradictory to your thoughts? Who wants a man who is so afraid to start a fight, or end one for that matter? Who wants a man who will be completely whipped every moment of every day?
Don't get me wrong, men have their own checklists too. Should she be skinny with long legs? Should she be able to stand on her own two feet, or should I support her? Should she be domesticated and proper every moment of every day? Should she always be a damsel in distress? Should she love sports as much as I do? Should she change her entire being to fit my needs?
I blame all of these 'perfection' notions on a few things. First and foremost the class structure that the world has come to. The highest will always be on top, and therefore closer to perfect than any other class. My other theory is that too many movies, tv shows, and books depict men and women to have their own places in life that should not be altered; such as the man should provide for the woman, the woman should be domesticated, the man should be buff and strong, the woman weak and delicate.
My final theory is history repeats itself. You are what you know, and where you live is what you know. If, for instance, you have watched your parents have a wonderful marriage, if you're a girl you'll want to marry daddy, and if you're a boy you'll want to wed mommy. On the other hand, if you've watched your parents' marriage dwindle down the drain and out into the Hudson for the last nineteen years, you'll be afraid to find anything to commit to. In this case, one instance is the sheer example of 'perfection' and the other is the experience that has made it possible to think that 'perfection' doesn't exist and therefore there will never be anyone right for you.
My theory is, imperfection truly is beauty. When you can fight with someone, when you can hold your self back from the urge to rip their throats out, and when you can still say at the end of the day that no matter what that person does you still want them in your life, that is when imperfection makes love possible. 'Perfection' is being completely who you are, flaws, faults and all, and knowing that someone out there is just as imperfect as you. That imperfect person should be the one on your checklist, that imperfect person should be the one you are trying to find. Because once you've found them, you'll love them more and more because of how completely flawed they are. And those flaws will make you never want to let go.
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