When All Is Said and Done...

To me there will always be a definition of true love that I will hold dear to my heart. And it's not that whole 'cant eat, cant sleep, reach for the stars' kind of love. No, for me love is found in the little waves of emotion you feel when you're with the right person, or thinking of that person for that matter. These emotions consist of happiness, comfort, security, joy. The list could go on, and I believe that the emotions are interchangeable parts for every relationship. But, for every person, true love should be knowing the person you love inside and out, through all their imperfections, scars, and beauties, and still wanting to wake up and see their face every morning.

In looking at the relationships of my friends I have come to realize that although I might not like the person they are with, there is a subtle reason why they are still together. Of all the relationships I've witnessed throughout the years, I've always wondered how my friend Darla could be with her boyfriend. They had begun dating when she was only fifteen and she had even gone to the extreme as to cast away all of her friends to spend every waking moment with her new beau. Of course at the time I didn't agree with this decision, but when she became more clear minded (a good two years later) I began to see what was really going on in their relationship.

John was the type of boy that had high expectations and a hot temper. He needed a woman to wait on him hand and foot, yet still let him do whatever he pleases without question or comment. Darla on the other hand, was an overly envious, sensitive girl who would do anything he 'needed' but would always wonder what he was doing when she wasn't around. This caused a definite gaping chasm in their relationship, and needless to say the many fights turned into many rebellious actions against each other.

Ultimately it led to their break up, and for the first few days a wave of relief came over Darla. But then it struck her that this possessive man she had been with for several long years let her go in an instant. Something sounds fishy. Our conclusion of tonight, after snooping around, was that he had been talking to someone else for a few weeks. Now, seemingly upset, Darla began to cry and to curse him for hurting her in such a manor.

On the other side... she had been seeing someone else for months.

Do people who love each other really do this? Or is it not love and just an infatuation gone bad? Relationships are meant to have substance: trust, respect, honesty, comfort, and ultimate happiness. Yet people go around in these year long relationships, subconsciously thinking of ways to hurt each other. Maybe we have such an expectation of love, we put it so high on a pedestal, that we are blind to the relationships we are in in reality.

In consoling her, I have stated over and over again that 'everything happens for a reason' and 'true love always finds it's way'. But now I'm not so sure John is her true love. I'm not sure that if being in a relationship with someone that constitutes of: fighting in the middle of the street over a flirtatious look, or sneaking off in the middle of the night to cross bridges and sleep with a different person, should be considered 'true love'.

Shouldn't true love be, realistically, wanting the other person's happiness and sometimes even putting it before yourself? Then how can people lie and cheat and deceive?

When all is said and done, I believe that when I come home from a long day, I want to be the one to sit down to dinner and vent to the person I love. I want to talk about all the stresses of our day, let everything go. I want to make love to that person, and have them hold me in his arms. I want to fall asleep knowing that I wont ever fall, and I want to wake up to see them in the midst of a beautiful slumber. I want this every day, no matter how much I would sometimes like to bash their head against the wall. I know when all is said and done, at the end of the day, I'm looking for my true love.